Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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