I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
