there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize