it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
