Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
