It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
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