Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
