Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The adults are the big ones right?
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