i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
