It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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