great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My pussy is not your playground.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The air was thick with penises
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
