Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
