Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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