You work out of a Hotel?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
