brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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