I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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