She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You made out with two different species that night
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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