i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
