I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
