We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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