i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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