Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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