This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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