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I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
