You're my little dorito
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
