somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
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Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
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a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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