i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
kristin has been a bad kristin
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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