My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
