i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
