You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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