Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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