Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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