also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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