Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
