Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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