i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize