this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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