Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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