Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
