I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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