And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
