This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize