What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
