literally had 100 drinks last night.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
