remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize