dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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