I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
