Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I accidentally had phone sex last night
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
