Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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