I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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