we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Come on in and take your pants off
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
