Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
