I wish I could punch you in the face.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
