Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
