he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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