Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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