Swine flu. Run for my life!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
