Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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