You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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