We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
