Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize