Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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