Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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