i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
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Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
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I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.