New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
