I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
